Tries: S Donald, T Mikkelson

Well done, gentlemen, for a gutsy effort. Granted, Waikato are hilariously shite this year. Nothing brings a wide smile to the faces of the harbourrugby.com editor and staff than the sight of unions comprising reprobate degenerates with nothing more to live for than rugby - yeah, that includes you as well, Canterbury - getting beaten by unions for whom rugby is about one hundred and forty-eighth in the priorities of life.

More hilarious still is that Waikato persist in fielding wingers with colourful links to the underworld. Not content with lads who go escapading in South African nightclubs attracting women who might or might not like to cry wolf, they've now managed to score themselves the nephew of George Speight. George Bush can relax his efforts to find Osama. Wait a couple of years and he'll be pulling on the lurid, migraine-inducing, number 14 traffic-light jersey of the 'Kato.

Anyway, let's set aside murky ALLEGED interest from the CSI unit for the moment to give out our own Olympic awards.

Le medaille d'or: the scrum, led admirably by James Afoa. Afoa is clearly a regular visitor to this esteemed site because following last week's criticism of him in these pages he looked angry and fired up and gave everyone a serve at every breakdown and we're frankly scared shitless at the prospect of his finding out who we are. (Our editor's name is Mark and he lives in Mairangi Bay and he might be linked in some way to a club up that way and I've never met him in my life.)

Le medaille d'argent: Vili Ma'afu, Chris Smith, and Mayhew. This trio of loosies might have some potential.

Le medaille de bronze: Our ABs. The Anthonys stepped up. The locking one was everywhere and made Lauaki look like he'd only turned up for the after-match chipolatas. Tuitavake is always good when he comes back to play for us, and for this reason we love him very much. The twinkle-toed, big-hitting Massey maestro is our new Cribb/Flavell cult figure. That is to say that he'll be off chasing the cash within two years.

Le medaille de Nouvelle Zelande (that means fourth or 'personal best'): Vili Waqa - this man has found a new lease of life this season. Presumably someone in France has contacted him with a potential offer. Jimmy Gopperth - a first-five who can lead a team? What the fuck? It almost feels like Harbour in the 80s.

We have been improving as the season has progressed. We've only won one from four, and Waikato are truly wretched this season, but we have been picking up points that we ordinarily would not have. I'm prepared to reserve judgement. Our side has shown some ticker this season. Something might be starting to click