Nothing like a confident loss to start to the year. Our coach seems to have drawn from the match an awful lot of positives considering how terribly average we were but then he is probably banking - as we all are - on the welcome returns of Flav, Matua, the Banana and Tony to harden up those areas that appear a bit louche. It must also be remembered that North Harbour has always aimed to lend a sympathetic helping hand to make as welcome as possible our country brethren to the big smoke - something for which they often thank us by grunting monosyllabically and then winning. Indeed, what a pleasure it was once more to see Campbell Feather up in our fair city, reaching high in the line-outs and grabbing two-handed takes despite his debilitating lack of opposable thumbs.

Our tight five was competent, if a little off the pace; our loosies were quite bad, reflected in one of our driving mauls that must have gone about 30 metres before a loosie actually arrived; our backs hovered between exciting (3 minutes) and woeful (77 minutes), best typified by their part in the aforementioned rolling maul: 4 backs drive the 'Naki winger back into his 22 but neglect to try and actually get the ball, winger gets it free to his halfback, halfback spins it out to fully-formed 'Naki backline who, with no opposition, run in under the sticks unopposed. Our backline defence was strikingly reminiscent of the kitchen utensil I …- I mean, the girlfriend - uses to wash and drain the veges but then tackling was always an over-rated facet of the traditional Harbour game.

Still, it's early days and there is an air of confidence around the Stadium of Echoes these days. It's an eerie air. A quiet, wispy air. A gentle air. Oh look, there's a tumbleweed…The N.P.C. must be upon us…

(Oh yeah, and the utensil thing I was referring to was a sieve. Sorry, it's the beginning of the season and my metaphors are a bit weak.)