It'd be a bit too easy to call our performance a messy f**king disgrace. There are probably plenty of Harbour folk out there imparting their own particular brand of wisdom based on their own personal experience of playing rugby: one season of JB4 and three games at school which they've subsequently used as evidence of their hardness to impress the bird in the office that they fancy rooting - making certain to avoid the specifics of their 'careers' and hoping that the story will rescue their chances from the expanding girth of their bellies and recession of their hairlines. And Shore girls, being what they are, will indeed give it up. (But still not to me, f**k 'em.)

So I'm not going to call it a messy f**king disgrace. Because - and I'm whispering now - I don't really think it was. Actually, I thought that we played pretty well right up until we got to within cooee of their line, when we repeatedly conspired to screw it up. We were clueless in their 22, but we still had the majority of possession and about 75% of the territory. That suggests that the forwards are doing their jobs nicely, but that we're at a loss around rucks and mauls and totally missing spark in the backs. That Adam Thompson was the best forward on the field is testament to our seeming unwillingness to take advantage on the scoreboard.

Now, here's an important thing Mssrs Dowd and Wilson: two seasons ago, we massacred Harris because he was woefully out of his depth. This season, he has been a bit of a rock. Since Luke returned midway through the Tasman game, we've lost the mojo we had in the first two hours of the season. We have a soft spot for Luke: he's been a bit of a treat for us in the past. However, you can't help but get the feeling that his self-proclaimed desperation to play for us is a symptom of his desperation to get himself a regular spot in the Abs - and that desperation is doing Harbour not much good right now. It paid off in the short term against Otago when he landed two booming penalties, but at what cost? For the first two hours of the season our backs looked good; now they look disjointed. It might be worth remembering that the last time we had a very good backline, our flyhalf was the solid, unspectacular, prone to the occasional choke but generally solid, Lucky Burts: a guy who was there to unleash the chaps outside him. Two words to the coaches about loyalty and team cohesion: Jamie Joseph.

Here's the other thing: Goldie, teach the backs how to tackle. Matt France is a good wee halfback, but his technique in trying to stop their winger was reminiscent of a blind nana signalling a bus. If you put your head in front of a large, fast man's knees, you will not stop him. Mailei: we like you because you like hurting people. When, rather than tackling people, you usher them through gaps that you are supposed to be patrolling, it makes us upset. You only did it once, but please don't do it again.

And here's a shout-out to the referee: Otago's first try was the biggest f**king travesty I've seen since the semi against France in '07. You were two metres away from the first forward pass that led to their try but we can forgive that as human error. The second forward pass of that movement was so laughably obvious that their scorer looked across at you three times during his 20 metre run in expectation of your whistle. That you only blew it to signal the try leads me to suspect that you are a useless c**t. On the other hand, you did give us about one hundred and twenty six penalties, all of which we turned down (along with a couple of droppie chances) and only four of which we needed for 38 minutes of the second half in order to draw level with them. Nice option-taking, skipper.