Tries: N Brew (2)
Cons: N Evans
Pens: N Evans (2)

It's so fcken' e-e-e-e-e-asy.

The most satisfying aspect of this victory over one of the crappest Otago teams in living memory, is that it might have given some of the oxygen bandits from the mainstream press some cause to wipe their mouths, having first evaluated the copious quantities of turgid poo emanating from them. However, lest the ignorant stains from one radio programme and one print organ still inhabit some rugby twilight zone, allow Harbourrugby.com to shine a fat light on one fact glaringly obvious to everyone who doesn't live in a Super 12 franchise city: N-i-c-k-E-v-a-n-s- d-i-d- n-o-t- l-e-a-v-e- H-a-r-b-o-u-r- b-e-c-a-u-s-e- w-e- d-i-d-n-'t- w-a-n-t- h-i-m-; h-e- l-e-f-t- b-e-c-a-u-s-e- h-e- w-a-n-t-e-d- m-o-r-e- m-o-n-e-y- a-n-d- a- S-u-p-e-r- 12- c-o-n-t-r-a-c-t-, t-h-e- f-o-r-m-e-r- o-f- w-h-i-c-h- w-e- c-o-u-l-d- n-o-t- g-u-a-r-a-n-t-e-e- b-e-c-a-u-s-e- o-u-r- u-n-i-o-n- d-o-e-s- n-o-t- h-a-v-e- a-n-y- m-o-n-e-y- a-n-d- t-h-e- l-a-t-t-e-r- w-e- c-o-u-l-d- n-o-t- g-i-v-e- h-i-m- b-e-c-a-u-s-e- A-u-c-k-l-a-n-d- e-f-f-e-c-t-i-v-e-l-y- c-o-n-t-r-o-l- t-h-e- c-o-n-t-r-a-c-t-s.

That does not, of course, mean that we pat him on the back and wish him all the best. Quite the contrary, watching him have an awful game was tantamount to standing in the Louvre and soaking up Da Vinci's most famous work. You'd just like to think that when that wag from the typically miniscule crowd stood up and bellowed into the silence "Miss it, Evans, you money-hungry whore!", it was the final straw that broke the camel's back to prompt the worst shot at goal at Harbour Stadium since Tusi Pisi's 26 missed attempts last week. That Evans had missed one earlier to prior cries of "Aim for the dollar signs, Judas!" suggests that he wasn't enjoying the reception from the crowd (a word that we use in its broadest possible sense, seeing as there were only 37 people there and 24 of them were from Red Badge Security).

Much like the game against Manawatu, we didn't fire a shot for 60-odd minutes, but fired enough in the other 20 to see ourselves through comfortably. Wee halfback James Rodley turned on the best 5-minute spell of footie from any Harbour player this year by scoring a try then playing major part in another, and was duly rewarded by being hauled off in favour of fading star Junior Polu. Speaking of fading stars, what in the sweet name of Mohammed has happened to Mike Noble? He's gone from being a good 60-minute prop to a decidedly ordinary 30-minute one in the space of a season. Seeing him trundle up to rucks and mauls was like watching re-runs of The Last of the Summer Wine. Rua had a shocker, too, but he's allowed one a season.

On the positive side of the ledger, our defensive mauls were outstanding with Boric, Williams, and Dustow frightening the bejesus out of their hairy blonde #8, who opted to spend most of his time out in the backline dropping the ball and making a general arse of himself. Our dominance in this area was assisted in no small part by Otago's attacking mauls being total pants, but it should provide some small amount of confidence for next week's game at the Christchurch Home for the Terminally Feral. Tuitavake had another good game that should have the Otago accountants adding a couple of zeroes to his transfer fee. Great little move down the right wing for his try with nice work from Georgie Pisi and Viliame who had otherwise quiet games. Tusi kicked all of his kickable kicks and one that wasn't as kickable so good on him, but he'll be stepping aside next week for anything less than a nuclear holocaust.

It's always nice to beat Otago for two reasons: 1/ they nick a lot of our players, and 2/ they believe ads that tell them that by drinking Speight's, they too will become semi-literate cowboys in silly hats. Beating them won't change this but it'll shut them the fuck up for a bit.

Asides:

• Nice to see Luke at the game. Would've been nicer to see him playing the game but some German sportswear manufacturer wants to rest him for another week.

• Credit where it's due, that short pass from the Otago prop to set up Brew's first try was sheer class.

• Congratulations to the Skunk Brothers from Whangarei: another win for our poor brothers-in-arms. It's becoming a habit. How shit are the 'Naki? Hilarious stuff.

• Was it just us or did Auckland's Next Big Thing On The Wing appear to do not very much and run around like a demented chicken for most of the game before his ten seconds of brilliance?

• Some square-jaw who took a pile of cash intended for our Union a couple of years ago (then repaid it when he got nabbed) last week got fined for a drug offence. The lack of evidence linking the two is hardly going to stop aging, balding men with too much time on their hands from drawing our own conclusions.

• Word on the grapevine is that in contrast to last season when players were a bit cheesed off at the regimented coaching style, this season's lot is a bit cliquey and don't like too much interference from the coach on pesky matters like team selection. Still, if we keep winning, who gives a shit?