Tries: F Smith (3), R Ranger, D Carpenter
Cons: D Holwell (5)

This losing lark's starting to get a bit dull, especially when ex-Harbour types like Veale and Urlich start sticking it up us. I suppose we did get Boric back, and he did play quite well (a dozen will be winging its way to you soon, laddie, courtesy of MacDaddy). We also managed to eke out a bonus point again and would've got two had Gopperth not had his worst goal-kicking game in living memory.

We did say in the match report last week that we should use this game to try new shit and see what happens, in the hope that we might be able to win the Bridge clash next week. In that respect, there were a few positives so credit should go to the coach and players for these:

• Nafi to centre, Josh York on the wing. It worked. Nafi was our best player and this York lad is handy. Get Vili back next week and our 11, 13, 14 might look solid.
• Tuitoga. He looked okay, too. If only Vili could kick, we could stick him at 15 and have quite a promising, if young, 11/13/14/15 combination. But he can't, so Abercrombie stays.
• Ma'afu. Just gets better. Hobbled off early. Probably won't make the Bridge side, knowing our shit luck.
• Smylie - still handy, with the Frenchman in good support.

Here are some things that did not work:

• Handling. F**king pants.
• Ball retention at breakdown. Ratshit.
• Lineout. Throw it in, catch it.
• Tackling. Rene Ranger is good, but he is not Jesus. He cannot drift ethereally through people if those people resolve to tackle him. Next week, Auckland will have many people who will try to run through us. Let us try to tackle them.

Our season is in tatters but the opportunity for redemption among the more committed fans lies ahead. MacDaddy's already a dozen in the red with Boric. He would like to be a couple dozen more (and some RTDs and OJs) in the debit column with the rest of the side after smashing the Auckland scum.* Get up for it lads. They're looking as useless as us right now and we owe it to the nation to stop the f**kers from making the play-offs.

*Delivery will be made during the week after the Auckland game in time for the Counties post-match commiserations for not making the quarter-finals.