Tries: L Masaga
Con: T Nathan
Pens: T Nathan, T Vili

Twenty-five pingers they were charging at Mount Smart for a covered seat. I thought they meant f*cking lire when I saw the sign. The next night you could get yer family in to watch the Warriors for $40 total (uncovered). Cost me about a buck a point, and they were shit-house points at that. Chuck in beers and parking and I was starting to see why finance companies do such a roaring trade in Manukau. Fortunately, it was no problem for me. I'm from the Shore and I'm f*cking loaded. Anyway, set aside class-above Tuitavake and the Counties #15 who shifted to #10, and we were treated to some of the worst rugby you'll see all year.

Is Michael Harris the new Jonny Elrick? Promoted before his time, confidence torn asunder, he was pants. Two moments defined his game: one was his chase through on a kick, for which he received a fat handful of f*ckoff from one of Counties' patched brotherhood; the other was a missed three points from out in front (to go with a couple of easy kicks he'd earlier missed) which evoked the Pisi days of yore and which 'lost' us the game. I'm almost tempted to say I want him to play against Waikato. It'll give us, the watching public, the same morbid sense of curiosity we get from looking through Dirty Sixty-Year Old Slappers magazine…I mean…from looking at car accidents… For the first time in five years, I was praying for Pisi to take a kick.

With any luck, all this will be set aside with the return of McPhee (He's Very Wee). Provided that he lasts the game against Hawke's Bay without his legs snapping in half, we might at least go into the Shield defence - I love that term. Let's say it again, with capitals - SHIELD DEFENCE with a kicker. Speaking of Waikato, there was a sprinkling of the Beasts Not of Woman Born at Mt Smart. One of them was Warren Gatland whom we bumped into in a very heterosexual and non-touching way, in the toilets. He was much shorter than I thought he'd be…Although maybe he's standard size in the 'Kato. We suggested that he might not be too worried about the Shield game based on what he'd seen, and he and his entourage very charitably said that it "wasn't over yet", which is right of course. It'll be over in about thirteen days.

Part of the reason why we couldn't get going in the game was an abysmal policing of the offside line. In a move obviously designed not to let our backs get any space, Counties encroached repeatedly and got away with it, which is to say that they didn't encroach. Responsibility for this must lie either with skipper Williams (who should've said something) or with one of the backs, who should've told Williams. If either of these things actually did happen, then we've had the misfortune of two shitty refereeing performances in two weeks, and we can look forward to a more reasonable quota of good calls in the next few.

Good games were had by Afoa (again), Rawlinson (again) and McCartney (with each game looking more Obladi Oblada than Yesterday but still an Auckland fudge-packer. If he's still here next season, I'll cut him some slack.) Tom Chamberlain got around the park a bit. Rudi Wulf's defence was woefully exposed for their try. There is some dispute about who made the final tackle of the game which saved us from losing a match we didn't deserve to: one of our correspondents says it was Vili, another says it was George Pisi, and yet another says it was a white guy - possibly Chris Smith. Whoever it was, we salute you.

Asides:
Well done, Northland. We suggested after our draw with them that they weren't too shit, and they're proving it.

Well done, Takapuna for its 10th club championship. (North Shore, the Pride of the Union, apparently, do not have that many.) And also to Marist's fans, enthusiastic bunch that they were, who included among their number the Pontiff himself.