This unusually hairy rodent is a pissed-off little mammal. I am loathed to direct it in any particular direction but have decided on Pivac and his merry band of coaching disasters.

My god boy’s why has it gone so wrong so fast?

I am beginning to feel like Hamish Carter at the Sydney Olympics. One minute we are swanking around the village with our head up our butt, trying to pull female Soviet 100m semi-finalists, the next we are dead last in a race expected to be “right up our alley”.

What we experienced last Saturday was by far and away the worst performance in the history of the North Harbour Rugby Union. I thought the game against Otago was bad; sadly this was an absolute abomination.

Those involved should hold their heads in utter disgrace. You guys played with no passion, no guts, no intelligence and ruined what those in 2006 achieved for this somewhat ungrateful Union and its fragile support.

The time has come to refresh the side, discard those who are not performing and let loose those who have pledged their futures elsewhere.

This season looks gone and that’s never a great prospect when pledged in August.

I’m not sure what the immediate future holds but I can’t help believing some irreparable damage has been done to the psyche of Harbour.

P.S. Rawlinson, if you think your pinky is sore now, please feel free to put it down my burrow, I’ll bite the bloody thing off!