This report is aimed at the pointless journalism and speculation surrounding the crowds that don't arrive at North Harbour.

There are a few certainties in life; taxes, death and Frenchmen contracting syphilis from the local bordello.

Since 1985 you could also have added people in North Harbour don't wish to watch the game live in large numbers.

When we resided in Akoranga Drive, citizens did not come and see the side apart from the visit by the touring Australians and once or twice in the close of 1994. It just looked like more because the ground is relatively wee. (Wee McPhee)

We could have built a 60,000 all-seater in the shape of the fucking Taj Mahal but it doesn't mean that people will come and watch their local provincial team play the national sport. Christ on a bike, most people in Takapuna support Auckland.

We are far more comfortable watching from home, sipping expensive foreign beer bottled in Otahuhu and occasionally raising our voices to say "good tackle number 12".

We have more than likely never played the game since leaving secondary school. We discuss the social perils of "white-flight" as opposed to the rolling maul.

We enjoy a robust Property Press than the Rugby News. We enjoy a 50% sale at Barkers more than the dubious hospitality in the ASB Lounge.

Our male youth are more into "Pimp My Ride" and "American Chopper". They would rather assault smaller folk that went to Rosmini on a Saturday night before racing Dad's BMW in Albany.

Our female youth prefer to associate with morose, drug-ridden, gangster rap, street urchins than sit for 80 minutes watching James Rodley deliver another appalling pass. If they are in Silverdale or Massey there is a good chance however that they may breed some supporters of the future before their 16th birthday, so it's not all bad.

In summary, we don't have a lot of fans; never will, so get over it. It may grow in time but I'm sure the Board of Directors have established that they require external revenue in large abundance because most people of North Harbour don't give a toss.