2007 Season Preview

2007 AD, a new year, a new chapter?

The arrival of Pivac should settle things down this year and get us back to some decent footie.

The players available look overall to be sound but lacking in experience. We have an exceptionally young side and that may cost us in the end. Without Luke "can't-make-millions-overseas-until-Dad-gets-a-bullocks-position-and-takes-20%-of-my-package-and-endorsement-revenue" McAllister and Woody the Magnificent, the side lacks something, though I would expect good things from Greg and the two Anthonys.

Where will we finish, hard to say but I would think semi-finals would not be outside our capability. Will we hold on to the Shield?

Hmm.

No, most likely lose it to Waikato as they will bring more fans than us. It's been fun while it lasted. Who will forget the pulsating victory over Horowhenua-Kapiti? Not me.

The preview of playing stock for 2007:

Sam Biddles (Takapuna)
Samuel arrived at Onewa from Waikato with big wraps. As far as I know Takapuna didn't see much of him and by all accounts was not that excited about the club rugby scene. Know nothing about him but hopeful he might tidy a scrum which struggled to perform last year.

James Hincho (Shore)
The George Best impersonator of Harbour rugby, drinks more piss than Ernest Hemmingway on safari in an East Gambian petting zoo. Not rated at harbourrugby.com. If he was an alcoholic drink then he would be a campari and soda.

Michael Reid (Marist)
Apparently he played last year. Is he any good, god only knows, or maybe the Pontiff. He is obviously young but I will reserve scathing judgment until season end.

Ryan Wilson (Silverdale)
Taller than the proposed pylons in the Waikato, any good? No. He is the Ian Jones of the new Millennium, tall, can catch a ball but that's about it. I could be wrong. Might have a good TV career.

Greg Rawlinson (Silverdale)
Probably the best provincial lock in NZ outside the All Blacks. I thought that Chad Allcock was a good little jappie, this guy is positively the best thing to come out of Silverdale since consensual love with your immediate family was made legal in Rodney.

Anthony Boric (Marist)
Nothing against him, in fact he looks the goods. Is he an AB, probably not, but his performances in the pink, white and black have by and large been impressive.

Robbie Colhoun (Silverdale)
A well-known family in the 'Dale. He always impresses on the club circuit and now he gets his chance in the big time. Will it be too much? Yes. Do we have a lot of good openside flankers? No. Does anyone care? Maybe.

Nick Williams (Northcote)
Nothing but a fat bag a disappointment biscuits last season. What should we do with him?make him captain. Not sure about this bit of logic but why not, we have Tusi at 10, what else could go wrong. He better perform 'cause at the moment this is a player going no place fast.

Luke Hamilton (Shore)
Didn't he play Luke Skwalker in the Star Wars trilogy. No, sorry that was Mark Hamill. No comment, haven't seen him play, can't be any worse than the mince served up over the last two seasons. Picked up an injury against Kapiti, may never play again this year.

Tusi Pisi (Massey)
Why did he not go overseas, did his proposed club get the videos we sent them? We learnt nothing about Harbour over the last two Shield games except that Tusi can't kick the ball very well. Those who have been present over the last season or three will realise this fact is gospel truth. To have young Rodley kick for you at the Kapiti game was a disgrace. Please let the boy go play somewhere else.

Jack McPhee (Rust)
It would be fair comment to say that there has been little to get excited about at Glenfield for sometime. The refurbished McDonalds is quite good, sadly this local "feel good factor" is not evident at Kaipatiki. There could be hope in the form of young McPhee, we might have to play him at wing if Pisi stays we require a person to kick the little ball through the two big sticks. Why not try him at fly-half?

Rudy Wulf (Marist)
Back to full fitness and should be close to the finished article by now. Our wingers look tidy and Wulfman should be consistent this season.

Anthony Tuitavake (Massey)
Class, class, class.

Viliame Waqaseaduadua (Shore)
It's hard to fault people that score tries and win Shields, so I won't. See above but substitute Wulfman for Weewaqa.

George Pisi (Massey)
Struggled a bit in the Super 14 but should be a class above on the provincial stage. I will watch his development closely as he has much promise and now would be as good as time as any to come forth and deliver.

Others:

Tom McCartney (Auckland): Piss off back over the bridge homo.

Ben Afeaki (Marist): Played for NZ this season, promising.

Chris Smith (Takapuna): Captained NZ Under 19, very promising.

Tom Chamberlain (Marist): Who cares.

James Rodley (Marist): Apparently he is the best at his position in the Union, not, looks like a cocky little turd.

Mike Harris (Northcote): After his family paraded him around every club in search of the best bid he settled at 'Cote, can't have many petrol vouchers left. Good though.

Tua Saseve (Marist): Someone said he was ok at Rosmini, must be a world beater then.

Zar Lawrence (Takapuna): Good unless defence is important. Serial 7s player, once you are in there it's a bit like playing Mike Barlow in Coronation Street - you will never get a part anywhere else.