Rattue
20 April 2011

Rattue on Wednesday has always been a favourite of ours, in much the same way that manure is good for crops. (For you young cunts out there who can't read or write, it's a metaphor and our website's the crops.) Here he is at his finest in his 'Worst XV of King Henry's reign' piece:

Angus MacDonald: Played against Scotland and never played again. Could be the first time the Scots have ended an opponent's rugby career.

Genius use of the non-committal 'could' means that we can't throw the kitchen sink at him, but here's the plug and the pot scrubber: heard of a guy called Buck Shelford? Unbeaten test captain; last match v Scotland at Eden Park, 1990.

Of course, it's possible that Rattue attributed - as we all do - the end of Shelford's career to the Auckland mafia of Hart and the Whettons, but now that would just be giving him the benefit of doubt so monumental that you'd need an oxygen mask and a sherpa just to get to the top of it. He's just not that clever.