If you had asked me this question a couple of weeks back I would have had you committed to the nearest "correctional" facility and asked for a non-parole term of 15-20 years.

But what chance now, can Harbour hoist up the main, unfurl the storm jib and tack towards semi-final glory? (What has happened to the Harbourmaster, maybe the cops finally got him on that register?)

Could this season be Dowdy's rope-a-dope strategy? Who is the dope and why is there some rope?

The Hamster says: "In any event, Harbour are going to clinch a top-four spot. And you know what that means. Hand out the goggles. Put a 12-pack box on my head. Praise the Lord and pass the cheap Strawberry Lindauer". Well he did last night, unfortunately he had been drinking on the Sabbath, lost his keys, misplaced his singlet and had little or no memory re-call.

Let's review the last few games remaining:

Current Points: 16

v Waikato

• It has been a long-time since we have won here, I'm not sure we ever had, but whatever the statistics, it is a barren wasteland for Harbour and their loyal fans. I'm going to predict an absolute upset here and Harbour take 4 points. Why you ask?, gut feeling mate, no guts no glory...
• We will go down on a roll, play a pretty average 'Kato team and come away with a 5 point win.

(Points tally - 20)

v BOP

• They are quite good and despite having no coach for awhile, they seem to be a very good side. That Delaney is a bit of all right if you are into those things - I am actually.
• I think these guys will pump us for sure, the boys hit it a bit hard in Hamilton on Thursday eve and tried to move some livestock after stopping for a whizz on the way home.
• Complete scandal as we are compared to the Roosters.
• Loss by 12 - Season over.

(Points Tally - 20)

v Wellington

• I would feel more comfortable if they didn't have a large percentage of All Blacks returning to the fold. Harbour have done pretty well at the Tin 'O Cake but this looks a tall order by anyone's standards. I'm going with a momentum factor on this one without the momentum, confidence is up and the boys are firing...
• Surprise win

(Points Tally - 24)

v Manawatu

• Boys have to secure some mana and a slim chance of playing some bit part in the Blues. Manawatu have given up and we stroll in like the Bay City Rollers on speed and take them down. The rural fraternity is shocked at the green and whites demise and the prospect of playing Thames Valley in 2010. Harbour do enough to demand a modicum of respect but are forced to acknowledge that it was another season that got away.
• Win by 14 points - bonus point.

(Points Tally - 29)

It's just not going to be enough folks. Hamster was obviously wasted out of his mind. Too many teams have 20+ points and can drag themselves ahead of us. The 6 losses in a row are going to hurt at the tail-end of the season and we can't reasonably expect to be competitive after dishing-up that rubbish.

We are like a failing Lancaster circa. 1943, got heaps of potential and a reasonable munitions payload but the left wing got shot-up by some crazy Stuka fella called Fritz Van den Wolfen, early in the piece.

All we can hope is we drop the odd bomb, tail-gunner Lester Smythe-Smith III VC and Bar fires off a quick volley at the Hun and we make it home for tea and shortcake.

Something like that.