<Editor: this week's edition supplied by Sensible Alistair>

Mike Reid or Sideshow Bob

Both guys have spent some time wearing stripes - Mike at Rosmini & Bob in Prison.

An erudite, urbane scholar-type (both have degrees), who has played a supporting role to a massive talent (Tony Woodcock & Krusty the Clown).

Both heard muttering "I'LL KILL YOU SCUM" - Bob to Bart & Hopefully Mike before this weeks game against Dorkland.

<Editor: this week's edition supplied by Sensible Alistair>

Chris Smith or Homer Simpson

One is a balding, happy go lucky character that flops down on the nearest comfortable spot. And although no one knows what he actually does, the bosses seem to love him and he always seems to come up smelling of roses.

The other is Homer Simpson.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon or Ken Pisi

Apu is a U.S. citizen and holds a Ph.D. in computer science. He graduated first in his class of seven million at 'Caltech' or Calcutta Technical Institute — going on to earn his doctorate at the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology (note the acronym S.H.I.T.).

Apu began working at the Kwik-E-Mart during his college years to pay off his student loan, but stayed afterward as he had come to enjoy his job and the friends he had made.

Ken Pisi while possibly not a devout Hindu, looks uncannily like our favourite convenience store worker. Ken and the team are currently entrenched in a slump so low it maybe sometime before they see the otherside.

Perhaps we need some of Apu's legendary work ethic to pull us up?

Cletus Delroy Spuckler or Jack McPhee.

Cletus' low intelligence is usually portrayed as the result of inbreeding but has been suggested to be due to mercury poisoning, which, in addition to affecting his memory gave him abilities of precognition or direct knowledge of the future.

Inbreeding is obviously classic Glenfield, but I'm not so sure that he has huge mental powers, otherwise he would have known that clearing a ball into the opposition will lead to a charge-down try.

Cletus works as a fifth generation dirt farmer. He also owns a successful chain of moonshine stills, and was delighted when it was decided that his drink would be used to flavor the latest version of Southern Cracker.

Jack must of had a wee tipple of the "old fire-water" prior to taking the field in Dunedin. His performance left an already poor Harbour team in disarray, his "time to shine" was sadly limited to his drink of choice.

Dang, Jack...get your shit together.

Patty and Selma Bouvier or Richard and Michael Mayhew!

Both Patty and Selma are noted for their addiction to cigarettes and, as a result, their raspy voices. The two possess a strong, mutually reciprocated dislike for Homer. Unlike Homer, who usually tries to be polite to his sisters-in-law out of respect for Marge, Patty and Selma have no hesitation about treating Homer with open rudeness and disdain.

While Richard and Michael both possess strong personalities like Patty and Selma the addiction to cigarettes is maybe not so close to the mark, perhaps the gym is more their dépendance of choice.

None of these boys would ever display open rudeness or dislike for others in public, but the legs and outfits bear a fair resemblance.